ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
if only i could text you this smell
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
