Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
