You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
