jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Randomize
