Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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