Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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