it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
