He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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