Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
