pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
