New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
