Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
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