I just made out with a guy for $7.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
And then my night got REAL pukey
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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