my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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