Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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