just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
