i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
