I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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