Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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