I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
