What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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