i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
