One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
