also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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