sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
