Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
