his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
