yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
