Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I touched a dick in church today
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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