Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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