Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
