doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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