He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
