we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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