Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
