Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
apparently the secret to your success is patron
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
