he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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