Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
