so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
This is the high leading the old right now
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
