At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
