I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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