i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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