Me. At least after what I've been through.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize