So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
im having a threesome with these popsicles
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
