So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
