even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
