kristin has been a bad kristin
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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