so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
