did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
