If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
