We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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