idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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