Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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