Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
If I die, sorry about rent.
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