Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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