mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize