the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
