Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
